I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

I've been thinking alot lately, about many, many things. I know, those few who do in fact read this are wondering what seemingly pointless or irrevelant issue I'm going to attemp to discuss this time, but, in all honesty, I feel very different about this post. As a composer, I've been looking to the many great predecessors of this craft, the ones that I truly do admire. Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Shostakovitch, Mahler, etc. I've chosen to be very selective on the ones that I name to demonstrate my point. Shostakovitch, in my own personal opinion, was truly the last great composer of our time. I was listening to his 5th symphony the other day, and for the first time I truly felt what he might've been going for at the end of the 4th movement, the cold bitterness of a war torn Russia. Then, I began to think what happened to cause him to write this symphony. The answer stood simply before me, War, struggle, and most of all, deep inner pain. I then looked back, to Mahler, whose work is very biographical, and how the last 4 symphonies depict a deep depression. To me, the 5th, the first of these paticular resembles his own personal struggles. Tchaikovsky had a similar plight of being homosexual in a heterosexual world, even coming to the point of a nervous breakdown in the composition of his first symphony. Last but not least, Beethoven wrote his 9th symphony basically deaf. How ironic that he could write a composition so great yet not ever hear it. As you have probably realized by now, these men all made great sacrifices for their work, and going back to their greatest most emotional compositions, I see how those sacrifices affected their works.

Their are no modern composers who have sacrificed as much as any of the aforementioned, or of many others from days long past, this is why, I feel that we don't have any modern composers that celebrate the same success as those from long ago. So, I look to myself, as the composer, and ask myself, what did I ever sacrifice? If I do in fact believe in this theory, what am I going to have to eventually give up to write a truly great piece? I don't mean this in any kind of crazy way at all, but simply put, I believe the greatest pieces come at the greatest price. These pieces were bred from some deep inner pain or struggle.

This is the problem with musicians today, not one musician on the face of the earth is willing to whole heartedly dedicate themselves to their craft. These people wrote not to make money, or be successful, or be famous, but to express themselves and the struggles they went through. This is an ideal which I now hold very dear in regards to music. I love music, and whatever struggles may come my way, I meet them head on, because I want more than anything else in the world to write and play music, to share my experiences, as well as the experiences of others. This all just occured to me, just thought i'd write it down.

Hi everyone,

So, the job hunting is over, I'm now an employee of Safeway.....

When me and a whole bunch of new hirees were talking to each other, we were talking about what department we were in. I am a "Courtesy Clerk". When we were introducing ourselves, somebody said that, and, me, being one of them, responded with, WHATCHUTALKINBOUT? you're a BAGGER!

So, yes, there is the long and short of it, I bag stuff.....I have a few other sparing jobs, but mostly I bag stuff.

This was of course after I had done a few stage hand calls before I found that job. I worked a load in for a guy named John Legend, who, even after having worked the load in, I still have basically no clue who this person is. The next one I did was for Harry Connick Jr., now there's an old standby. That was more or less the extent of my stagehanding.

I have quite a few things to say about Safeway, but I'll wait until after I am no longer their employee (just in case....being insubordinate is and automatic dismissal).

Other than that, just here, doing summer.....